


The Things you can't Undo

by DaturaMoon



Series: Vikings [30]
Category: Vikings - Fandom, king harald finehair - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:54:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27710048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaturaMoon/pseuds/DaturaMoon
Summary: In his darkest hour, King Harald regains his sense of hopeKing Harald x Ofc (Qena)This is a mini fic.
Relationships: king Harald / ofc
Series: Vikings [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1919068
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

Everything it took to get here forever changed him.   
All the wins, losses, heartbreaks, struggle -   
At times he was ontop   
Others, the very bottom

Sometimes when he looked down at his hands he could still see the blood - the look in Halfdans eyes.  
Tucked away, he kept one of her dresses. Once in a while, taking it out. Recalling the scent of her. The way she felt. The child they never had-  
He knew it was wrong, taking her the way he did, but he did it anyway.  
Like a man possessed, Harald made a series of decisions that changed the course of his life. Decisions that soured his heart, his soul.  
Harald was finally King of all Norway.  
Without a brother, a best friend  
Without a Wife, or a child  
Even with his lovers, pregnancy never came. It was like the Gods were punishing him for what he’s done.  
Punishment was warranted. He knew he deserved it.  
The price to the throne? Loneliness, loneliness on a scale he could never phantom before.  
Even in the crowded rooms, even under the lusty gaze of the towns women, even when they cheered his name as they feasted and drank ale; Harald was alone.  
Part of him accepted this. There was no going back.  
This was his fate now.  
Another part of him ached for redemption, for a chance to make things right. He just didn’t know how.  
Day in, day out, it was all the same.  
King Harald felt dead inside, empty, cold. The greed within him thirsty, hungry, growing despite the damage it’s already done.  
His hunger became insatible. He was ravenous; Women, drink, battles - he couldn’t get enough. He needed more. But it always ended the same, it was never enough.  
...  
For the longest time, King Harald knew he lost the favor of the gods. It was a truth he accepted.  
Then the traveler arrived.  
Seeking food, water, and shelter the night, the mysterious woman appeared on his land at sunset under a full moon.  
A woman unlike any he’d ever seen, Harald knew he wanted her.  
He needed her.


	2. Qena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 7 months before she meets King Harald
> 
> There are 2 POV changes

To be Queen was a dream of hers. It was the dream of many in the village; if only she could go back in time-

This wasn’t the way she wanted it. Not like this. The crown was heavy and came with an impenetrable cost. 

She was taken during a raid and given away to the invading King. After a month of labor to the Queen and his daughters, the King's attention fell to Qena. 

Being his servant was a nightmare, and once he called her to his bed, it only got worse.   
Despite her objections, the King, a man obsessed, forced her hand in marriage anyway. This drove his previous Queen to leave in shame as Qena unwillingly took the throne beside him.

After three month of being Queen and many nights dreaming of an escape, Qena finally knew what she had to do. 

…

Leaving the Village in the cover of the night with blood stained hands, Qena knew she had to run. To run as far away as possible to leave all of this behind forever. To forget this place, to forget him, to forget all of it. 

The journey to freedom was long, exhausting. More than capable of protecting herself, Qena managed to move through the toughest of situations. On the way encountering those with kind hearts as well. 

It was during an overnight stay in a family's home when she realised she’d taken a part of her past with her. Her hostess noticed before she did, the horrible truth of why she was feeling so unwell. 

Qena prayed to the gods, begging for them to take the child. She couldn’t have the deceased King's child, she couldn’t carry his legacy. Qena prayed for a better life for it, for the gods to take the child and give it all the things she couldn’t - to offer the gift to someone else better equipped. 

It wasn’t that Qena didn’t have her own dreams of motherhood. But those dreams were born of love, of connection, honestly. Not much time passed before her wish was granted. After a heartfelt ritual to the child and the gods, she continued on her way. Searching for a place to start again with clean hands. 

…

Qena’s legs, though strong, had grown weary for rest by time she reached the village. It was sprawling, abundant, alive, well protected. Even from the distance she could see such. 

Out of items to trade and going on two days of hunger she had to stop here. Hopefully long enough to work for food and a place to lay her head before she kept moving. 

Over this long trip, she grew a deeper appreciation for the crafts she learned. They all came in handy on her journey, and would continue to do so. 

Upon reaching the gates of the village, she was whisked off to a Great Hall. As a guard holds her from either side, she can’t help but take in the room with wonder. Whoever this KIng was, he was important. 

When her eyes land on the King, he nearly takes her breath away. He was a handsome man, even with his face covered in tattoos. His blue eyes heavy and pained, still, there was something soulful about them. His long dark hair braided neatly and resting over his shoulder. 

Her eyes dart from the crown on his head to the dark tunic and leather he wore. It was evident he was a warrior, his body was strong. When he speaks, his voice is deep, raspy.

“Who are you? Where do you come from?” The serious expression on his face is almost dark.

A small flutter of fear stirs in her gut. Qena doesn’t reply as soon as he would like. 

“Answer me? Do you know our language?” He leans forward in the throne. 

Qena swallows, looking at him head on, “Qena.” 

A slow smile builds on his lips, he repeats her name slowly “Qena.” 

She shifts in the guard's grip trying to get comfortable. The King orders them to release her. Qena rubs both her arms before closing them around her body. 

“You speak and understand us?” He asks. 

“Yes.” 

King Harald POV 

King Harald raises his chin, eyes steady on her. “Where do you come from?” 

“I rather not say. I had to leave, to be free. I only need food, water, shelter. For only a few days and i’ll be on my way.” Her voice is soft, the softest thing he’s heard in years. 

Harald looks her over, taking in the state of her tattered dress and worn shoes. Despite her appearance there was something regal about her. The way she held herself, her expression. Almost like she was hiding in peasant clothing. 

Harald stands and takes his time descending the stairs. He needed to be close to her. He notices the tension in her neck when he closes the space between them. Still, she extends her neck, looking up at him. 

He could see the necklace she wore and the rings were of good quality, not something just anyone would have in possession, unless they stole it.

As his eyes travel over her delicate features, her long neck, the exposed and dirty skin of her chest above her neckline he feels that hunger stir; the one that raged through him like a possession. 

Moving carefully, Harald holds his hands behind his back, getting a full view of her. The entire time she stays still, quiet. 

Once he’s before her again, Harald lifts her chin with his index finger to observe her face. Her lips were full and perfectly shaped, they looked soft despite their current dry state. His eyes dart back to hers, deep brown. A storm brewed in those eyes, she felt wise beyond her young years. 

Harald grabs the tips of her wavy brown hair, rubbing it between his thumb and index finger. He watches her neck, and how it gives away her quickened breathing. Her beautiful brown skin calls to him. He wants to touch her, to have her. 

But he controls himself. He needs to know who she is, where she came from. Perhaps she was sent to him? To cure his sadness, his loneliness. There was power to full moons, and of all nights it is now she arrives. Were the gods giving him a sign? 

Releasing her hair, Harald takes a step back and smiles at her. 

“You have permission to stay. I’m King Harald, King of all Norway.”


	3. No regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week has passed since Qena's arrival in Vestfold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is way longer than the other chapters, and same as before, there are POV switches.

King Harald POV

Qena was quiet. After a week in Vestfold she seemed to be adjusting but kept to herself. Only speaking when necessary. 

Tonight, in celebration of a trade deal, Harald held a feast at the Hall. It took some coaxing, but the mystifying woman in his sights did attend. 

Harald found himself looking her way frequently as he enjoyed his meal. Besides her obvious beauty, there was something deeper which drew him to her. What was her story? Why did she flee her home? 

Her youthful and angelic face seemed to hide many secrets. He could see great mystery in her eyes. Then there was loneliness, he felt it. In their limited conversations she never said anything to reveal she felt this way, but he knew. It was like one lonely heart finding another. 

King Harald couldn’t phantom how a bewitching woman such as Qena could be lonely. He couldn’t make sense of it and she was tight lipped about anything prior to her arrival in Vestfold. 

He had no problem going after what he wanted, women, goals, information. But that approach came with a heavy price - a price he continues to pay. It was this very thing that gave him pause about prying into her background despite how much he wanted to do so. 

Maybe, if he could gain her trust, she would tell him herself. He would try to hold off, for as long as he could. But, if he grew impatient, he would have to find the answers to his questions himself. 

Harald finishes his mead and responds briefly to one of his guests. He catches the eye of a lover who based on her expression alone would like to spend the night in his bed. Harald only smiles, hyper aware that the one woman he wanted above all was only feet away from him. 

Qena POV 

7 days in Vestfold. 

It felt good to be bathed, fed, a roof over her head. Before now, she almost forgot the last time she was warm. It was a rough journey to get here, but she’d do it all over again. Qena had no regrets.

After receiving Haralds blessings on the first day, he set her up with an older couple who had extra room. In exchange, Qena offered to tend to their garden and take care of duties that grew too difficult for them in their old age.

The couple, Vidar and Ama, were sweet and kind. Vidar was once one of the greatest fighters and Ama a shield maiden. Now, in their old age, life was simple and slow paced; just as they wished. They took a liking to Qena right away and it was above all an easy and comfortable arrangement. 

Now, at the lavish feast, she sat with them at a table only feet from the King. His personality, his laugh, his smile - it was all larger than life. It was perplexing, how so much joy and darkness could live in one man. 

The King fell into the habit of visiting Qena as she worked in the garden. Strolling up to the modest home, dressed handsomely, a warm smile on his lips. Each time, as she’d slowly raise her head to look up at him, her heart would beat a little faster. 

King Harald was one of the most beautiful men she’d ever seen. In his eyes, a thousand stories. The conversations were casual, short; mainly due to her. He’d ask her questions about her past, questions she didn’t want to answer. 

The thought she may need to leave sooner than later already plagued her. After what she’s done, staying with the King of all Norway was likely a huge risk. What if he found out? What, despite the great distance she traveled, if someone recognized her or news traveled? 

Her husband had many enemies, it was her hope it would be blamed on one of them. He was a looming, round man. She hoped in this instance, her being a woman of small frame would eliminate her from being a suspect. Though, in any other circumstance she would fight to not be limited to such categories. 

It was so long since she tasted mead on her tongue that the buzz came on quickly. The more worrisome thoughts started to fade, making her feel lighter than she has felt in months. In a way, it was freeing. Before Qena can become further lost in her newest series of thoughts, Vidar refills her cup. 

As she brings it to her lips, she feels his gaze again. There was something about King Harald's eyes. When they landed on you, you could feel it, it was like a magnetic force. Qena’s bottom lips lingers against the rim, she glances to her left. 

Haralds blue eyes held more depth than the seas. The room disappears as a flush of warmth moves under her skin. Her lips part further as she subconsciously lowers the cup. 

“The King has taken quite a liking to you.” Ama comments with a smile, watching as the two lock in a longing gaze. Qena hears Vidar chuckle and says something to Ama. 

Is this what being under a spell felt like? Stuck, frozen, unable to think or move? Qena’s body starts to react in ways she hadn’t felt in years. That longing, desire...she almost forgot what this felt like. 

Pressing her lips together, she offers the King a smile and holds up her cup. King Harald’s serious expression lightens, he does the same. 

…

King Harald POV 

As the last of the crowd spills out, the Great Hall quiets down except for the sound of the servants cleaning up for the night. Over the last 10 minutes, Harald lost sight of Qena and feared she had gone to bed. 

His desire to be near her, close to her, to hear the softness of her voice consumed him the entire feast. He needed more than the small conversations under the haze of early morning. 

Leaving the Hall, he headed to the house. If there was a chance she was awake, he would take it and ask her to come back with him. 

Harald doesn't have to go far. He finds her. 

A short distance away, she’s sitting at a table by the market, now quiet under the midnight sky. She looks serene, gazing at the moon like that. The plain dress was modest by all accounts, but Qena still made it look like much more. 

Qena turns her head, body still. The tiniest hint of a smile forms on her lips. Harald starts to speak but she turns away, looking back at the moon. 

Darting his tongue over his lips, he decided to continue. Sitting on the bench beside her, Harald sits up straight and follows her gaze to the moon. 

When the first breath of her words reaches his ears, he closes his eyes, savoring the sound, “It’s a Waning Gibbous moon...I’ve always liked them. Maybe more than full moons.” 

Harald grins, a small memory of his mother comes to mind. She loved the moon, often she’d tell great stories but him and Halfdan being young boys, they just didn’t pay much attention. It wasn’t until he got older did he wish they sat for a moment and really listened. 

“Tell me, what do you know of Waning GIbbous moons?” 

Qena lowers her eyes, staring straight ahead. Harald watches the way the wind blows her curls into her face. 

“It’s a symbol for beginnings...it’s considered a birthing moon…” her words fade. A thought she doesn't want to feel comes to mind. 

Harald notices the shift, “Is anything wrong?” 

Qena shakes her head, “No...I just get distracted sometimes.” When she looks him in the eyes, his lips part slightly, his eyes soften even more. 

“Qena,” he leans forward, “you enchant me.” 

Qena POV 

Her heart is beating faster now. Being this close to him, the way his deep voice wraps around her skin, his piercing eyes knock at the door to her soul, the scent of him - 

Feeling overwhelmed, Qena breaks eye contact first. She focuses on her hands, placing them in her lap. 

Licking her lips, she fights the urge to look up at him, “You don’t want to know anything about me. Trust me. You’ve been very generous. Kind. I will only stay a little longer then I will be on my way.” 

She doesn’t have to look up at him to know he’s disappointed. She can feel it. 

“Qena,” Harald places a hand over hers. It's so much bigger than hers, warmer too. She studies the ring on his finger. “I wish you to stay as long as you please. You don’t have to - “ he stops and takes a deep breath in and out. After a second, he removes his hand. She misses the sensation but won’t reach for him either. “Where would you go?” 

“I do not know. I’ll just keep travelling, like I have been.” She feels moisture well up in her eyes. It only lasted so long, the joy of tonight - 

“What are you running from?” The King asks bluntly. 

When she doesn’t respond, he gently places two fingers under her chin, raising her head until their eyes are at level. 

Qena only nods, no. She can’t tell him. And the fact that he’s still asking means she has to leave, soon. 

A tear rolls down her cheek, he wipes it away before she can. His thumb feels rough against her soft skin. She was so - delicate but not, Qena was tough and soft all at once. Harald longed to know her secrets, her pain, so he could take them away. 

Harald wondered what her full smile was like, how her eyes would light up when she felt joy. Whatever happened, why ever she left, she was now locked tight and he wanted nothing more but to get in. 

He keeps his hand on the side of her face, gently caressing it now. She lets him. Her tender brown eyes staring back under long dark lashes. Harald can see the tension in her neck, she’s holding back. 

“I’ll protect you.” The words escape his lips. They’ve lingered on his tongue since he asked her what she was running from. 

Qena takes a sharp breath in. She places a hand over Haralds and removes it from her face. 

Harald watches her closely, waiting for her response. Qena bites her lower lip, taking a long moment to think before meeting his gaze. 

“I’ve done things I can’t undo. But, the worst part, maybe, is I have no regrets about it.” 

Harald hangs on every word. He notices the small frown on her lips. Harald scoots closer, cupping her face in his hands. 

“I myself have done things, I hold great, deep regret.” He confesses.

Qena sniffles, maintaining eye contact. Despite the desire to say more, to open up to him she doesn’t. She already said too much. 

Harald brushes her cheeks with his thumbs, “ Qena?” 

Qena leans forward, pressing her lips against his. The kiss is nervous, quick, but the contact feels good. 

As Qena breaks the kiss, Harald pulls her back in, his hand strong and firm on the back of her head. 

Fade out - 

Qena's body vibrates from his touch, the trail of kisses from her lips down to her toes still buzzing as her toes uncurl. The sensation of his beard tickling her skin as he moves down then back up her body. 

“You’re so beautiful Qena,” Harald moans, the rasp in his voice heavy and thick. He plants butterfly kisses on her left hip, then her right. 

Qena’s eyes are closed, but the softness of Haralds lips and the scratchiness of his beard tell her where he is on her body, even when his hands are no longer touching her. 

His palms are hot as they move up her sides, the bed shifting underneath them. His thick moist tongue laps at her nipple, then the other. 

Qena curves into it, bringing one hand to his back, feeling the strong muscles beneath her touch, the other hand on the back of his left arm. She squeezes. 

“My desire for you is greater than any I've ever known,” his lips brush against her jawline, he licks the bites, “I’ve wanted this since I laid eyes on you.” 

Qena smiles, feeling that familiar feeling in her core. His body covering hers, his kisses, the bites, his lips - she was becoming excited again. Haralds once soft cock now grows against her. 

Qena runs her nails down his back, then moves up to pull his hair. She locks one leg around him. 

“So have I.” She hums blissfully. 

Lifting her head, Qena kisses him with parted lips, sliding her tongue into his mouth. With a low sexy growl, Harald opens his mouth wider, sucking her in. 

He hikes her leg up higher, on his back, using the other to grip his cock and slide into her again. As Harald fills her, a gentle whimper falls off her lips in between kisses. She holds on to him tight, moving her hips with his…

Fade out - 

The Next Morning - King Harald POV 

King Harald feels the smile take over his lips before his eyes open. He can still feel her, smell her, taste her. He could lay with her forever and never complain, never grow bored. 

Clearing his throat, he opens his eyes. “This is a good way to spoil a man, having you in my b-” He drops his head to the side, seeing the bed empty. Sitting up quickly, he looks around the room. No Qena. 

His heartbeat is racing as he quickly dresses, yelling out for the servants. Two rush into the room, with fear in their eyes. 

“My King, we are sorry, we were just preparing a meal - “ 

“Where is she?!” When they stare back blankly he points to the bed, “where has she gone!” 

Stuttering, one servant looks at the other, then at Harald, “My King, we do not know. By the time we woke, she was already gone.” 

“Perhaps she left in the n-”

Harald runs his hand through his hair, blinking rapidly. Pushing past the servants, he heads to the house. 

When he arrives, Vidar and Ama rush toward him. “My King, are you okay?” 

Harald looks back at the house, then at the couple, “is she there?” A frown on his lips, worry in his eyes. 

“No, “Vidar steps forward, “we were just going to see you. We awoke to this.” He hands them a scroll, on it a few words. Haralds heart sinks, he lowers his hands, staring at the letter.


	4. Trust

Qena POV 

With closed eyes, Qena brings the pool of water in her hands to her face, letting it cool her skin. As the river water drips down her neck, she exhales and smooths her hands over her hair. 

No matter how many times Qena washed in the water, she still felt heavy - dirty. Maybe part of her hoped she could wash it away and watch it flow down the river. But, her guilt was not that easily banished. Qena had to leave, at least that’s what she told herself. She couldn’t stay there, not with Kings' blood on her hands. 

The decision continued to haunt her, from the moment she woke up beside Harald to now. Leaving him and saying her farewell in written word to Vidar and Ama felt harder to do than the crime she committed. Qena didn’t know if she could ever forgive herself for it. 

In such a short time, Qena could see the seemingly hard King was anything but. Memories of him replay in her mind like a story. The way his blue eyes soften on her, the tender kisses among the more passionate ones, the richness of his deep voice, his laugh, the way Harald was both gentle and rough. King Harald was like her ghost, lingering over her shoulder and impossible to forget. 

As she traveled, putting distance between her and Vestfold, the urge to turn around and go back was frequent. Her feet would move forward as her heart reached back. 

She wondered if she went back and fell to her knees and apologized, would she be welcomed? The King was good to her, Ama and Vidar were good to her - Qena not only broke her promise to them, but she also left the King without a word. He deserved more than that. 

With furrowed brows, Qena stands and dries her hands on her dress. The sun would be setting soon; she had to find shelter for the night. Trying to ignore the slight tremble in her chin, she slips on her pack with her belongings and continues heading South. 

…

King Harald POV 

He didn’t like this version of himself. 

Slipping into old habits, the last 5 days were covered in darkness. The drinking, the women, the anger - he found himself springing back to a place he was finally able to see the light from again. 

Then she left. 

Were his crimes so great to the Gods put her in his path to tease him? To show him what he could have had if he didn’t do what he did? Harald punished himself enough. He didn’t need reminders of his dreadful actions. 

The men he sent after she returned with a word when he was drunk and in bed with two servants. Despite the late hour, they knew the King would need news immediately. 

“My King, we apologize for the disruption.” 

Harald sits up with a grunt and signals the girl closest to him to pass the unfinished ale. 

“What?” His voice is scratchier than usual. He drinks the rest, some of it spilling on his beard. 

“We were unable to find her.” His voice shaking as displeasure washes over Harald's face. 

Clenching his jaw, Harald dismisses the women with a gesture of his hand. “Go! NOW!” 

They scurry, grabbing their gowns and leaving the room. The messengers wait for orders. 

Coming to standing, Harald wraps his body with a robe and closes it. He stumbles slightly before stabilizing himself. With a huff, he approaches the men, frowning at them both. 

“I told you not to come back until you found her.” 

The men look at each other, fear in their faces. 

“S-sorry my King, we will resume the search now, in the opposite direction. Our apologies.” They bow and start to leave the room. 

Harald grabs one by the arm roughly. He wants to punish them, to punish them for not returning with her. He opens his mouth to criticize them but stops. 

Letting him go, he cocks his head and shakes it. Speaking more to himself than them. 

“Qena can’t be far. She’s on foot. No boat, no horse...I’ll find her.” 

Harald takes a deep breath and holds it. He needed to calm down and sober up so he could form a plan. 

Harald feared a visit to the Seer due to his past actions, but in this case, to find Qena, he was willing to do anything he could to bring her back. No matter what her secrets were. 

…

Sometime later 

Harald leans against the trunk of the tree, watching the small abandoned farmhouse in the distance. Her petite figure, moving inside as she carries some sort of dish from one side of the house to the other. 

“My King, do you want us to retrieve her?” The man asks. Harald nods his head, no. 

“Go back to camp, rest, wait for my word,“ he looks back at him, “we’ve had a long journey. I’ll take it from here." 

He signals to the others to leave. After a brief moment, they do. Harald took a search team of 5 men with him. 

It took all of them and a lot of questioning, but they finally got a tip that led to here, this little house deep in the woods. In a village far away from his own home. 

Harald watches until the sun goes down and his men are long gone. He was feeling so much; anger, hurt, excitement, hope. How would she react to him? Would she be happy? Would she run? 

Was his obsessive nature yet again his downfall? Could their night have been nothing but stress relief for her? Did Qena feel nothing for him? Maybe Halfdan was right all those years ago. Maybe Harald knew nothing about women. 

As night covers the sky, he carefully makes his way toward the cabin. 

Qena POV 

Finishing the last of her meal, Qena pushed the bowl away and glanced out the window, the moon looking back at her. It was a starless night due to the recent storm. She missed the stars. 

Her eyes travel to the bowl again. She could try to sleep, but that didn’t come so easy these days. When sleep did come, she dreamed of Harald, of Vestfold. Qena dreamed of how in a short time, it felt like home. Maybe staying up was better. 

Perhaps some fresh air could lighten her mood. Standing, she makes her way to the door but stops in her tracks as it starts to open. Quickly retrieving her blade, she stands behind the door, her heart racing. 

“Qena.” 

The voice is heavy on her heart but music to her ears. Lowering the blade, she steps out from behind the door. Not believing her eyes, she takes a step back. 

“I won’t hurt you.” Harald holds up his hands. “You can lower that.” 

Pressing her lips together, she stalls a moment, then lowers the blade, letting it hang at her side. 

Harald steps in further and closes the door behind him with a heavy sigh. He doesn't turn around just yet. His hand is splayed against the door, head lowered. 

Qena takes another step back, moving closer to the nearby counter. Her heart beating so fast she can feel it in her ears. 

When Harald speaks, it breaks her heart, “Why did you leave me?” 

Qena’s breath catches in her throat. Placing the sword on the table with a heavy face, she bites at her lower lip. A million answers come to mind, still, she struggles to find the words. Her mouth opens and closes again. 

Harald turns to her, his blue eyes seem almost black. A frown on his lips. All color seems drained from his beautiful face. 

Clearing her throat, she forces herself to speak, “I had to.” 

Harald advances toward her and grabs her hands, holding them in his own, his eyes locked on hers. “That answer is not good enough.” 

Qena breaks eye contact, looking at their hands. 

“You won’t understand it.” 

“Then make me understand, tell me!” He pleads. 

Shutting her eyes, Qena tries to fight the oncoming tears. She loses, they feel hot against her cheeks. Pulling her hands away, she puts more space between their bodies. 

“King Harald, you should forget me. It’s better that way.” 

Harald grunts, looking off to the side. When he looks back at her, there is a coldness in his eyes. 

“Then I take you back as my prisoner.” 

His word cut her. Qena, confused, looks at him wildly. “W-what?” 

Harald blinks, the coldness breaking for a moment.

“When you ran, I was furious at you. I know a lot of people, all over. You went missing 8 months ago….Queen Qena.” His sharp tone makes her flinch. 

Qena rubs the back of her own neck and stares down at the ground. 

Harald continues, “The same night your husband was murdered, a King.” 

Qena swallows and moves behind the desk, pressing her hands into it, hoping to stop the shaking. The prickling in the back of her neck and the tightness in her chest only getting worse. Her eyes float up to Haralds. His head is held high, shoulders square. 

“His rule was outside of Norway and he had numerous enemies. In fact, one now sits at this throne after killing another for it. You can be protected here, but you have to trust me. You have to tell me everything.” 

Qena slouches over the counter, covering her face with her hands. Harald moves closer, standing at her side. 

Her mouth feels dry. Standing back up, she turns to Harald, leaving one hand on the counter to feel something stable. 

“Did they tell you how I became a Queen? I was taken when my people were raided. I had two brothers, a sister, a mother, a father.” She pauses, a faraway look in her eyes like she’s remembering. “I was a servant for two moon cycles or so until the King decided his watching and grabbing of me as I walked by could no longer quench his thirst. So, he had me frequently. So much so, his wife came to resent me. I never understood as a woman, how she could blame me. “ Qena moves from behind the counter, pacing the room slowly, arms across her body. “ She called me a witch, believing that I bewitched him. If I had such powers, I would have made myself invisible or gone back to my family...whoever survived at least.” 

Harald sits on the small thin bed, hanging on to her every word. 

“It was my living nightmare. But, the worst of it was to come. He married me, his wife left not wanting to be second to a servant. I had to lay by him night after night - it was torture. He was a cruel rough man - sometimes I still ….” she shakes her head and looks at the floor. “ I had no choice. It was the only way to free myself of that monster.” She looks up again with hate in her eyes, “I despise that man even in death. I would kill him all over again.” 

Harald stands and walks over to her, a slight hesitation in his step. When he pulls her into a hug, he’s relieved when she doesn't pull away. Harald holds her close, that familiar rage returning. If he could, he would bring him back to life to kill him all over again, to avenge her. 

Harald kisses the top of her head, “After? You left, traveled until you arrived at Vestfold?” 

She shakes her head, “yes. I just wandered and met many kind souls who helped me on the way.” 

“Did you lose a child?” He asks softly. 

Her lips part, she takes a sharp breath in, “Yes. But, I didn’t want it.” She moves away from him, returning to her pacing. “I didn’t want to carry his child. I begged the gods to take it. I just - I didn’t know how painful it would be for me after...the guilt for the child.” 

Harald nods sympathetically. He thinks about his own child and the loss of it. As he almost gets lost in his thoughts, he notices Qena shoving things into a bag. 

“What are you doing?” 

“If I am to be a prisoner and punished, I only wish to take a few things with me. These are all I have left from my parents, my home.” 

Harald grabs her hands and puts the bag down, turning her to face him. “ Qena, I will not let any harm come to you. You have my word.” He places one of her hands over his heart. “Trust me.” 

She releases a heavy sigh, he repeats his words. Trust me. Qena closes her eyes, feeling his heartbeat in his chest. 

Qena opens her eyes again, meeting his own. “Okay, I'll trust you.” 

Harald studies her expression, her eyes. He wishes to lift her pain, to take away all the things that have ever hurt her. 

Blinking gently, Harald lowers his head, pressing his lips to hers. Qena welcomes the kiss and holds him tighter.


	5. A Choice

A Month Later 

Hypnotized by the moonlight, Qena stares out the window as she savors the feeling of Harald beside her. Both laid in silence peacefully, she listens to the sound of his breathing. 

The bed shifts slightly and Harals clears his throat, Qena turns her head to face him. 

“Qena, your power to choose has been taken from you over and over again.” Harald takes her hand in his, lacing his fingers through her own. Qena sits up against the pillows, the sheet falling away from their naked bodies. 

Harald brings her hand to his lips, kissing the back before continuing, “now that your name has been cleared, you have safe passage to wherever you please. Know I will not keep you against your will.” The honesty in his voice is laced with sadness. 

His blue eyes are soft, tender. The way his voice breaks just a little makes her eyes moisten. Qena raises her other hand, the pads of her fingers gentle against his face as she traces his tattoos. 

He continues speaking, “I want nothing more in the world than for you to stay here, with me. But I do not wish to repeat my past mistakes, or the actions of those who’ve hurt you in the past.” 

Holding his gaze, Qena feels her chest tighten. His words brought tears to her eyes. A choice. It was a luxury she never had, not until now. 

Leaning forward, Qena plants a kiss on this shoulder, then his neck. Her hand on his face moving to the nape of his neck, resting there under his hair. 

“Vestfold is my home now,” she raises her eyes to his, “You are my home. There is nowhere else I desire to be.” 

Overjoyed, Harald pulls her beneath him, covering her body with his. “Say it again!” His hands move up to her face. 

“I want to stay with you!” She sings in a higher pitch. 

Haralds expression goes still, his eyes searching hers. It was almost like he couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t sure if it was real. He studies her face as her words sooth his soul. 

Qena places her palm flat against his heart. “Harald, I mean every word I say. You do not have to fear. When you wake I will be here, and every day here on out.” 

Harald’s heart is racing, his tongue quickly darts across his lips. He swallows, slight nervousness fills his expression. 

“Will you be my Queen?” 

Without hesitation, Qena smiles as she replies, “Of course I will King Harald.” She runs her fingers through his hair, his eyes fall closed as he moans. “I would love to be your Queen.” 

“It’s settled then! We will get married this week!” 

His face lights up and that larger than life smile she loves returns. Harald plants kisses wildly all over her body as she softly giggles in his arms. 

Making his way to her stomach, Harald slows down, letting his lips linger longer against her skin. 

Qena grins and nibbles her bottom lips. Clearing her throat, she looks down at him, “What do you think? How’s Halfdan?”

Harald freezes. His eyes are wide when they meet hers, causing her chuckle to turn into a full laugh. 

Speechless, Harald touches her stomach, his lips parting but no words come out. Qena waits, giving him time to digest her news. 

Harald shakes his head with a smile, “You’re with a child?” 

Qena pulls him closer to her, Harald sits up and she crawls into his lap, facing him head on. 

“Our gift from the birthing moon. It's a boy, I know it. I’ve seen his face.” 

Overjoyed, Harald pulls her into a kiss. Only pulling away briefly to speak , “I love you, Qena. I promise I will love and protect you and our child, always.” His blue eyes locked on hers as their noses touch. 

“We know you will. I love you too King Harald. I’m glad you went after me, I don’t think I would have found my way back home otherwise.” 

“You’ll never be far from home again, I promise you.” Harald rests his hand on the back of her head, pulling her into his embrace. They both exhale deeply and melt into each other, savoring the warmth, the love, the security. 

Harald never thought he’d get his second chance, but it came in the form of a Queen without a home. He would do everything in his power to make sure she never felt lost, unloved, or without a choice again. 

…

8 years later 

Harald nods at his guests and steps outside of the Great Hall. The coming voyage in two months time excited him, but not as much as the laughter of his children and his wife. 

Turning the corner, he watches as Halfdan chases the twins. Qena puts the basket down and stands, smoothing her dress down over her legs. She spots him and winks, the beginnings of snow falling down past her beautiful face. 

She quickly looks away, focusing on the children as they play, “Ade, Ama, careful!” 

Harald comes from behind, wrapping his arms around her. She purrs and leans into it. 

“Was your brother this energetic, the twins can barely keep up.” 

“AH, yes, very,” Harald kisses the side of her face and smiles. Finally, everything he ever wanted was right here, in arms reach. The only thing missing was Halfdan, but in a way, he had him too. 

“What are you thinking about?” Qena looks back at him. 

“How happy I am.” His rich voice washes over her and she turns in his arms, pressing her lips against his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, we have reached the last chapter of this love letter to King Harald. To those who shared, commented and interacted, an extra thank you as it's so hard to get these fics circulating. Thanks loves!


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